quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
