My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
