Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
