just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
