Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
