Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
