So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
