i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
