Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
