No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
