So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
birth control should be required to get into college
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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