That's intense
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
