The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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