First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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