Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
