shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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