Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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