where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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