My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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