just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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