just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My vagina is officially offended.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
