I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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