You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
