Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
