Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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