I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
