can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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