Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
