New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
