Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
