So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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