I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
