You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
