So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
