yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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