dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
pray to the hookup gods
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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