I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
