do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
