margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
