OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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