I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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