At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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