i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
