whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What a dumb baby whore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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