The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
