I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we should paint friendship bongs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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