i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
