Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
