For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
