She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
